


The future we saw but couldn't grasp

by Anili_2



Category: Monthsession, Original Work
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, F/M, First Love, OC Story, Regency Romance, chritsuki, maid and the lord, mention of slavery, period au, secret dates, social classes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:54:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28884210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anili_2/pseuds/Anili_2
Summary: A young maid learns to give up on her first love, the young lord of the ducal house
Relationships: Christian Fortier/Heidi von Charbonneau, Natsuki Llwellyn/Christian Fortier
Collections: The Months





	The future we saw but couldn't grasp

**Author's Note:**

> While Christian's canon surname is Fortier, for this work I'm using his mother's maiden name. Christian's father and step father both married into the family, so they took Solene's last name.

"You're getting engaged." The teacup nearly fell off of the plate it was on while being set on the table, making the previously calm atmosphere suddenly much tighter. The young maid apologised for her mistake before carrying on with serving the tea, moving to stand by the wall afterwards to wait, gaze down towards the floor against her usual manners. Familiar blue eyes followed after her for a moment, but got yanked back to the speaker of those dreaded words with a simple clearing of a throat. 

"Engaged?" Christian asked the question calmly and picked up his cup to take a sip. He had to keep calm. This was all something he knew would come sooner or later. Guess he had hoped to not hear of such news for a little while longer. 

The woman opposite of him gave a small understanding smile. Solene set her cup on the table and placed her hands on her lap so she could give her son the details. 

"Yes. Your...Your father and I thought that it was time for you to start settling down. There couldn't have been a lovelier fiance either." While she started off a little shaky, she sat up straight the longer she spoke. It had been inevitable and this would be for the best so she couldn't start going soft now. "Marquess von Charbonneau's daughter will make a lovely wife, Christian. You both get along already and I'm sure you've noticed how pleased the lady has been whenever you two have met." 

As the white haired pair spoke more of the details of the engagement, the maid with shaky hands fell deep into her memories. 

The first time she had met the young lord, met Christian, she had been nothing more than a nameless runaway lady no better than a beggar or a common thief. Her family life had never been warm, but the moment her so called parents threatened to sell her off as a slave just to settle some debts, she had to get away from that house. Her escape funds diminished faster than anticipated, the last coins ending up getting stolen by an older boy. Within two weeks she had been left with nothing but her freedom. Natsuki had stopped to rest and sit by an alleyway and watch as people walked by. Some gave her and her tattered and dirty appearance looks of pity, some of disgust and most nothing at all, but none stopped to help. In their eyes she was just another dirty kid on the street and it was like that for a couple days. She would only leave the spot to try and seek out scraps of food just to return to the same lonely spot for people to keep ignoring her. That is, until a shadow casted over her, covering the brunette from the June sun.

When she had looked up, it had taken a couple seconds for her eyes to make out the young boy's features with the sun behind his head. Once they did get used to it, she had been met with a friendly, yet worried smile that nearly broke her into tears then and there. The boy must've been only a year or two older than her, but from his clothes and well kept appearance, not even mentioning his pale skin, she had been able to tell that this wasn't just your everyday person or just any noble. 

"Are you lost?" Natsuki had been surprised by the question and couldn't do much else but to shake her head. She had curled up more to herself and looked away from the boy, thinking he would just mock her soon enough like all the other boys she'd bumped into on the streets so far. It was silent after that and had it not been for the shadow still casted on her, the young girl would've thought the boy to have left already. 

"You...don't have a place to go to, do you?" Another shake of head was given. 

"Then…come. I can help you." This time, when she turned to look at the boy, her green eyes were met with a hand held out towards her. Natsuki had felt appalled, her first thoughts of wanting to protect her person, but the moment her eyes met the boys', she knew it'd be safe to go. 

That decision had led her to the Marquette ducal residence, where she'd been given a chance to wash up and get some food. It was there that she'd learned her saviour's identity; the young lord Christian Marquette, duchess Marquette's only child. Apparently he'd been amongst the crowds passing by her for some time now. Usually street kids moved around a lot or stayed in a certain area, but her staying in the same exact spot had made her stick out like a sore thumb. Natsuki also learned that from that day on, she would live in the ducal residence as a maid-in-training and as a maid once she got older. She got a roof over her head and regular meals. To the ten year old it was like a heavenly miracle and thus she did her best with whatever task she was given. 

It had taken about two weeks before she actually bumped into the young lord again. Natsuki had just been returning from relaying the head maid's message to the gardener, when she spotted the white haired boy taking a walk in the garden. It had been a risk, but she had wanted to thank the young lord for saving her, so she walked on over to do exactly that. It was a short meeting, she thanked him, he asked how she was adapting to the house, she answered and then turned to return to her next task. Just before they parted, he asked for her name and she told him to call her Natsuki. With last parting words, the pair returned to their own lives. 

That one meeting ended up starting a chain of the two bumping into each other, both intentionally and accidentally as well as figuratively and literally. 

Years passed. The duchess remarried and after some struggle against it, Christian was made to give up his right to inherit to the oldest sons of the new duke. Natsuki had become a proper maid instead of just a training one or an errand girl. A wide known secret amongst the servants was how close the real young lord was with the maid he had picked up from the street, but none said anything for the pair obviously tried to hide it and neither really did anything to cause worry for the future. 

What they didn't know was how the two would sometimes sneak out to the city, the young lord hoping to see how people really lived rather than be forced to only see what a noble should. Those little secret nights brought the two closer and tightened the bond between them. They also made it harder for both to keep ignoring the feelings they wouldn't let themselves to notice. However those nights came to an end, when Christian's new brothers almost caught them returning once. Both Natsuki and Christian had agreed it would be safer to stop and how there really wasn't anything else to see anymore, though both knew it to be a lie.

Natsuk was shaken back to the present, when the duchess stood up and left the room. She looked up just in time to see the Madame giving her a brief apologetic look on her way out. It was so subtle that the others probably wouldn't have noticed, but she realised the duchess had been aware of the situation between her and Christian all along. Natsuki had to dig her nails into her palm in order to keep from crying and turned her attention to Christian, who still sat on the settee. When their eyes met, she shook her head when it looked like the young lord was about to stand up and say something. Even though she wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up in his arms and be comforted by how he would talk to his father, she knew it shouldn't happen. They'd kept themselves in hiding for a reason. Instead, Natsuki walked over and cleared the table silently and left with the dishes. 

After the announcement, the ducal house got busy preparing for visitors from the von Charbonneau family. Natsuki did her best to ignore the painful needles in her heart and focus on her job while avoiding Christian the best she could. No, she wasn't mad at him, but not seeing him just made it easier to tell herself that she would be fine. 

Turns out she wouldn't. The first week the visitors arrived, she had almost broken down just from seeing Christian's fiance hold on his arm while the two walked in the garden. Even though she said she wouldn't do it anymore, she left a note on Christian's table, after cleaning the room, where she asked him to meet her at "the spot" at a later hour. 

"The spot" was a corner behind the servants' stairs. It was where they usually met before they used to sneak out. When she arrived there after her roommate fell asleep, she found Christian already waiting. He stood up straight and opened his mouth to speak the moment he saw her, but Natsuki held up a hand to stop him. The two had a long conversation about what would come next. She knew she couldn't stay in the ducal residence like this, seeing as she didn't want to grow bitter towards the future lady nor did she hope to keep hoping for someone she couldn't have. It was obvious that Christian cared for his fiance and Natsuki knew him well enough to know he would make a wonderful, loyal husband. Knowing this, she knew she couldn't just hold everything in. 

"I love you." Surprise, joy and then pain showed on Christian's face in response to her words and he squeezed her hands, that he was holding, a little tighter. 

"I…" He barely got that word out before Natsuki shook her head and freed one hand to press a finger to his lips to stop him.

"I know, but let's be fair to your fiance. I'm already planning to steal something else from her." He looked a bit conflicted by her words, but seemed like he wouldn't say anything more so she placed her hand back in his. 

"I'm leaving the house once I've found a replacement. The duchess agreed to write me a letter of recommendation and gave me suggestions where to find work next." She kept her tone steady, even though her eyes were already getting teary. It hadn't been an easy decision, but one that had to be made in order for them to move on. No matter how much she wanted to look strong and hide her tears, she looked up to meet his eyes only to see the tears in them as well. That was almost enough to make her wanna take back her decision, but she knew she shouldn't, couldn't. "Can I take your first kiss? After that there'll be nothing between us anymore and I'll disappear out of the way of you and your fiance's happiness, but….but I need to have something to know you were mine first." Her voice wavered and the tears she'd tried to hold in so hard began falling. She didn't stop him, when Christian moved a hand to wipe them off. After all this would be the last time she could hold him openly in her heart, so instead of pulling away she leaned into the touch. She tried searching Christian's face for an answer, but for once couldn't read what was on his mind before he opened his mouth. 

"Okay." It was a small word, spoken so quietly that she almost missed it, but it was enough. Natsuki let out a relieved breath and the pair looked at each other for a moment longer before closing the distance between them. The kiss was wet with tears from both of them, but other than that it was soft, warm and sweet even in it's shortness. After they pulled away, Natsuki let herself stay in his embrace a couple more seconds before pulling away from his reach. She took a deep breath and wiped her tears away, standing straight. 

"It's late. We…we should go back to bed. Good night, young lord." With that she turned and started heading up the stairs to where her room was, but stopped halfway up to look to the left to Christian one last time. "Goodbye, Christian." With that she hurried upstairs and back into her bed to cry out the rest of the pain. 

In the end she left the residence by the end of the week and found a new job a town over. Christian got married within the year and the young pair became a couple adored for their affection towards each other. 

Not all first loves are given a chance to blossom into forever, but the memories they link to will always have a special spot in our hearts.


End file.
